ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
