She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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