I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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