I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
