this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
