All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
