Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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