We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
