i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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