I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
