i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
