Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
