i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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