Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
