So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
