I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
