ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
