some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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