Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize