So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
