You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
