Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
