Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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