Where is the hickey?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
