i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
