you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
