What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
