I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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