I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize