i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
