Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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