your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
