her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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