I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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