every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
