And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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