"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
