Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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