i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
