Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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