Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize