i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
