Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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