so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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