Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
