Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
