He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
