I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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