wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
