is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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