I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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