you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
