Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
