nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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