The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
