Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
