Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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