why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize