So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize