I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
