He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
