I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
