I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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