i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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