If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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