I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Even my vagina gasped.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
