When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
