when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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