1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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