You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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