That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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