some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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