doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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