hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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