Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
