no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Randomize
