Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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