oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
