My first STD was from a foam party
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
