I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
